An Unexpected Journey: A New Chapter

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GM,
It is better for the kids to have a bad parent than none at all.

It may be somewhat heartening to you to hear what happened w/my X. He was clueless w/then-baby D and I stopped enabling. I just left her with him and ignored anything that wasn't directly concerned with safety.

After 5+ years, X has finally begun to act more like a father to D. He is less resentful of spending time with her (he really treated her like a burden, much as he treated me. Now he seems to like spending time with her more, even though it's still minimal). Maybe their R improved because she doesn't have a "big sister" any more. Anyway, I understand about "worst enemy" situation because I got the spew, too, and was quite afraid of him. Ignore him as much as you can, and you're right--encourage the R but don't enable it.

X has been severely humbled by middle age. As we all have, in some ways. I have begun to realize that D is one of his few bright spots now.

I sometimes wonder if teenagers are somewhat threatening to MLCers. I mean, it's teens who are supposed to be rebellious. Not their middle-aged fathers. Probably makes the MLCers uncomfortable.