The last two days have been....interesting and busy.
H came over yesterday to watch Olympics opening ceremony, but also some of the Marriage Breakthrough workshop by MWD. We managed to watch an hour of it. I was pleased with that.
I made some lovely dinner, and then we watched the Olympics. It was a very pleasant evening, and we ML as well.
Today we hooked up in the early afternoon, went for a long walk, went to the park, had a lovely afternoon. Then, not sure what happened exactly - or actually, I do. A couple of his friends called to say they wanted to hook up. It was a rerun of old tension-filled moments.
Then, I took a deep breath, and just let whatever happen happen. My anxiety comes from too many times with his friends, drinking ensues, hanging out forever and a day, and just generally it turns into talking about work. They also know each other a lot better than I ever do - mainly because no one is interested in Art. Bottom line, I just don't feel relaxed.
That starts translating and I am always ready to leave before everyone else. So, there was something in my mind rolling around saying, "It never is quite as it appears. See what happens."
So, the friends turn up and they are really nice. I get on well with them, AND turns out they have to leave within 1/2 hour because they couldn't find good parking. It seemed the angels were smiling on me.
I think H was disappointed - because soon after they left he was quiet for a long time. I too was quiet, but mainly because he was quiet. It was one of those cycles. So, all the way home we were quiet, and it was hard to break through, hard to make conversation. The friends texted to say they felt bad for leaving so soon and if we wanted to hook up later we could.
I had DVD's to return, and was getting hungry - so that was the priority. We went back home to grab the DVDs, and he was so cold and turned off I was finding it difficult to be with him. So much so that on the way back out the door, he let the door close and I was still on the other side of it. IOW, it closed on me. I rolled my eyes and just then, he saw me rolling my eyes.
Things got even cooler after that. On the way to the video store was hell. Cold, distant, quiet and I felt like I just wanted to leave really. I'd had enough of his moods. But, I stuck with it, and just got through it.
We finally ended up having dinner and the mood changed around. I was much more relaxed, and could talk a lot more...having some food helped me. He even mentioned how much more expressive I was, and he was too as a result. The funny thing is that I felt that he was a lot more expressive before I was, and particularly when compared to earlier in the day.
