from the WAS to being walked away on

[strongerthanever]

H is on 24 hour duty in the same building that I'm in. My shift started at 11pm, and around 12:30am he showed up. He looks worn down. Not like I've been up all night tired, but more like his soul looks tired. His eyes have lost their spark, his passion seems gone. I don’t think I’m speculating here, he’s just gone.

He opened up about work, about how xow (his supervisor) is being so mean and hard towards him. My intuition told me the R was over, but I didn’t focus on that aspect, just focused on listening to him. He dreads going to work every day. That [censored].
His leadership made him type a memo for me to sign in regards to his vacation. Basically worded that “because we are in the process of getting a divorce, I cannot take my girls out of the state…wife will be watching them during my week…”. Makes me wonder if his command is acting in ways that continuously reminds of that “oh yeah, we are getting a divorce so I should be talking/acting this way” OR if xow is acting that way towards him + being mean, for whatever reason. Kind of reminding him that she is the supervisor, he is the subordinate AND he lost his family/wife. No one knows for sure, just speculating again.

He has been under a bad spotlight with his leadership for the better part of 6 months. I hate that for him. Back when we were dating we were in the army together and I’ve seen his work ethic. He is such a hard worker. I hate it that his current leadership doesn’t see what a valuable asset he is.

XOW’s most appealing factor was her willingness to slide into my role and support/love right away when I was in WAW mode. I believe this bc that is what he bragged about, which makes me believe he was so happy to finally feel as if that need of his was being met. She went away to an army leadership development course and “everything about her changed when she came back”. Meaning that she was no longer buddy buddy with everyone (um, that IS how it should be…). I first noticed her absence about 2 weeks before she left for that school. IE the girl’s hair no longer smelled like her products, they weren’t talking about her or accidently calling me her name, they weren’t sporting her hair do’s, that kind of stuff. Needless to say, the way he presented it makes it appear as he felt like she was WAW #2.

Lord knows I may be waaaaay off with all of this, but it DOES give me a new perspective on things, his possible point of view. Holly cow if I were in his shoes I would feel like the victim! A crap ton of negatives in the short time frame of 7 months. Plus the quickly approaching unemployment date and uncertainty of his future…no wonder his soul looks so tired.

Bottom line: this guy needs some serious love and support and I’m gonna give it to him. Not to get him back, but bc this is a man that I love dearly and he needs to get that sparkle back in those eyes. Perhaps I went through the “victim” stage first so that I could be better equipped to help him through this?