Need help with detaching and hoping to reconcile.

[lillystillinlove]

Hi All, Here is what happened after MC. He called about dinner I said I hadn't thought about it but gave him several options. He's still angry after MC, he sighed and angrily said whatever figure something out for yourself. Stayed away for a few hours. When he got here he still seem pissed but it was a simmer and set it aside to focus on our son. While that was going on there was some interaction, nothing to indicate he had mellowed. The interaction was focused around S. Some barbs on his part, I didn't bite, but I wouldn't have before all of this. As it got close to bedtime for S, I made my way to our room (he hasn't slept in bed with me for quite a while) for the remainder of the evening to allow him space. After that I was writing last nights post and was hungry so I went down to grab a snack, when he saw me it played out like this:

H: What's up? (pleasant tone)
Me: I'm hungry so I'm getting a snack.
H: What'd ya have for dinner? (pleasant tone)
Me: Same as S but I wasn't really hungry then.
As I'm leaving H: What did ya make? (still pleasant)
I show him but my heart is racing I go back to our room.

This little tete-a-tete was a little ritual of ours. If I made a snack or drink for myself we would have this conversation and he would have a bite or a sip... Something I didn't realize was missing or that I missed. Why did it happen? Would that be a "man way", in this type of situation, of saying I'm no longer mad. I'm over what happened today?

Then today he calls to see how our S did with drop off at school
H:How'd S do this AM?
Me: Fine
H: Did you talk to his teacher?
Me: No, he wasn't outside where the kids line up to go in so I did see but hung out with other parents
H: So you haven't met his teacher yet?
Me: No I met him yesterday morning and spoke with him in the afternoon. He said S is adjusting well.
H:Oh. What time are you taking S to TKD?
Me: I'm planning on 4 but can change it if needed to 5.
H: No, just tell me what time, I'm going to try to make it but don't know if I can.
Me: Ok, 4.
H: OK

End of call, all in a pleasant tone.

I wish I knew what was going on here and I'm trying hard not to read into anything. Is he being nice because he knows it will be a hard day for me? He gets his place today. Does he realize how absolutely crazy he sounded in MC and trying to make a change? Is he just feeling a sense of relief because he gets his place today and feels less stress?

AAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!

Breathe... what was the other thing? Oh ya, no expectations.

On a GALing note, I finally met a mother of one of the kids S goes to school with (seen her for a few years just never met).

We both have our kids in a new school and are very excited about it. She seems very nice, very up beat and very friendly ( she hugged me before she knew my name). A little weird for me but it was a very exciting morning and the good vibes were flowing. We plan to exchange number and get together. I'm not great at this and have very few friends locally. The one girl I know is nice but I think we are both "hard to get to know" people, I did take the time to chat with her yesterday. We'll see what happens with the both of them.

Other GAling efforts, One of the things I though of doing is being more involved in the school thing (not really something I terribly enjoy) for my S sake. We want the best for him. Still not back to running, still losing weight though, Down 47 so far and trying for another 15lbs. I'll be able to fit in my wedding dress again, good thing because I may need it! It hard to find time to run with work and being primarily responsible to S schedule and keeping the household running somewhat smoothly, domestic tasks not my forte', it's a good thing we have some one in for the heavy lifting every other week.

side note: If you are wondering, H has 2.5 jobs, he manages our properties and he is very hands on (he the maintenance guy too), he just picked up a "regular" 9-5 job a few months ago that is extremely stressful (more stress doesn't help our sitch at all). And is the president of a non-profit (doesn't pay and is for local artisans) that takes up a chunk of time. So no he really doesn't help with house work, but he has recently begun to do laundry, at least getting them started. But prior to the last job he got, I was a little resentful that he did participate more in the domestic, and right or wrong, I felt I was a facilitator for his life. When I think back and try to see his side I understand that he saw me, wallowing in my depressed state, doing what it took to scrape by. Not interested in anything. Feeling that at least she doing something even if it is just the dishes.

Lastly, I will be signing up for another painting class. I love this. H always encouraged me to do this and I tried once but it fell short of what I hope. Now that I've got a few classes under my belt I really want to continue.

I hope someone can provide some feed back or insight into the male psyche.