There is no way to know why he spewed at you. Just to state the obvious, he must have felt threatened somehow and lashed out at you.
Money is what he pointed to, but there's something else he's put significant meaning to (more important than money) that he just didn't share. For example (and I have no idea of course) he could feel like he's not a good provider (which translates to not being a good man, in many men's minds) because he can not afford to take the kids with him.
The reason I say the above is, he has his reasons and those reasons were important to him, even if his choice of how he expressed his fears was inappropriate.
You can choose to approach this directly, or indirectly, or ignore it.
If you choose to ignore it, then understand that means dropping it. IOW, the pattern most people would go into here is resistance and then resentment. ie. His money problem is HIS money problem and he had better man up and figure that out. I'll make sure to get him back for this.
Or...
You can choose to approach this directly. Ask him. Let him know that you understand money is tight for him as it is tight for you, as well. Or better, we say around her to just tell the spewing spouse, "I understand how you could feel that way. I am open to looking at other options to help work this out. Do you have any suggestions or thoughts?"
Or...
You can choose to approach this indirectly. Truth is, money is the reason on the table, and it is a valid problem, yet it is not THE problem. He's avoiding the problem by "running away" which is showing up as attacking you.
If you know he's otherwise comfortable talking with you, have a conversation with him. Use this as an opportunity to know what is going on with his life. You'd be looking to talk with him in order to find out what might be stressing him out (other than your R). Is he stressed because travel stresses him out? Is there problems at work? Does he have major problems with his car and he's going to have to spend a lot of money, there? Did he buy some toy that cost him "too much money" and now he's regretting it?
Once you begin to understand what's going on in his life (again, other than your R), you may start to see what's really bothering him and then you can look at how you can support him, without enabling him. IOW, allowing him to solve his own problems and supporting him in that.
Just some thoughts. Think about it for a bit and see which of the possibilities above are something you might consider based on what you want in your life and follow that path.
