from the WAS to being walked away on

[strongerthanever]

Ugh-white flag-help

Completly unexpected blow up on H's end.

H is going out of town during his week with our daughters. He does not have enough $ to buy them a ticket, so they must stay, and he asked me to watch them. An extra week with my girls? Um yes!

Here's the thing, an extra week with my girls means the added expense of $200 for their evening daycare plus $50 for their Monday night sitter while I'm in school. I told H that I would be more than happy to watch the girls for him. I also brought to his attention that by doing so would I have to pay $250 in expenses. He told me that he could pay me $150, and that was it. He went on to tell me how he wouldn't even have any spending money. He even suggested I skip class so that I wouldn't have to pay for their $50 sitter. (I'm in an accelerated program, each class is 5 weeks; you miss two classes and you are dropped from the program) Is he crazy? Didn't say it, but thought it.

I was getting upset, but kept myself calm. When he quieted I stated that I would be happy to help him, but on the condition that he cover the expenses that I would incur. I told him that if he decided he wanted to proceed to let me know. I was 10 min late leaving for work and told him I had to go.

He began to yell at me, telling me how selfish I was. I didn't know what to do. I just felt hurt honeslty. He was yelling about how I can't stop him from going on his trip and then hung up on me.

Why? I know, focus on ME, on MY actions. But dang, really?

There is a difference between putting your partner first (which I realy have been trying to do here) and allowing yourself to be used/taken for granted. All emotions aside, demanding that someone do you a favor and come out of pocket $100 just to help you crosses the line in my book.

Am I wrong here? Honestly.

The fact that I am really hurt tells me that I need to do a better job detaching and dropping the expectation that my email changed anything. Thought I did that. Guess not.

Geeze why is it so easy for him to get angry and act out in crazy ways with me. I've never seen him act this way with anyone else...? I know, stop focusing on him. Just venting here. It is obvious that he is still on that roller coaster and I need to jump off and walk away from it.

Damn. I was prepared for silence but def not this I need someone's perspective that isn't clouded with emotion.