I am here again, I have screw things royally with W today and have disregarded your valuable advice too.
I do not want to do either one anymore, so I is next, I love my wife and do not want to lose her, I understand I need to do the good changes for my self. As Eric said, it is not for the better to lose the woman or my kids, who I love with all my heart. The way to regain my W and kids trust in me, is by regaining the trust in my self. I need to be humble, no humiliated, specially by me, by pretending I am in control of her and that I have all the answers she needs. I am not even in control of my self and I need to learn that the answers I need are not in her either. I have been thinking, without beating up my self, what did I do wrong today with W, the answer is simple EVERYTHING. With a clearer head, I have gone thru what she was telling me, man, was I so deaf not to listen. She is basically telling, "I love you, so please, make feel I am safe at your side". Eric, point that out in different words, I went to the gym and meditated on his remarks, by God, Eric is right.
I know I am not supposed to get in communication with her and if we do, I should say as little as possible and just listen. I am going to be strong about this, but the little things that I might say, what should they be?
Things I do understand and need to reinforce:
1. I can only change my self.
2. These changes are for my self only.
3. I have to respect my W desicions, even though I do not agree with them.
4. I have to stop controlling her.
5. I have to be humble and learn how to listen.
6. I have to detach.
7. I have to stop pursuing her.
8. I have to make time to heal and forgive my self.
9. I have to GAL for my self.
10. I have to be greatful of the little progresses.
I have been reading the book of Proverbs in the bible this past days. I have to pay attention to the Word of the Lord. Everything in these book of Proverbs is what I have to do. I will work not to ignore His teachings and commandments and also the advice of you guys.
I will leave with this readings from Proverbs that have made feel better:
1:5 A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels.
I want to be this wise man that knows how to listen to increase my learning thru the understanding of your good advice.
