14 Months Secret Separation: talking mediation

[adinva]

As of today I have a new mailbox address, checking and savings accounts in my name, credit and debit cards, and financial advisor. And I got a root canal. Quite a day.

I read my book cover to cover (He Had It Coming) and thought it provided good advice and information about worst-case scenarios to plan for. There was a bit of vindictiveness in it but it was easy to read around that. Tomorrow I meet with IC.

My H was in Chicago while I took S14 and his friend to the beach for a long weekend, and to meet up with my DB friends. It was so fun! I didn't communicate with H all weekend, and very little when I got home. Was friendly but not overly talkative.

Since then I have shared more about things we did like the deep sea fishing where we caught and ate our dinner. I haven't heard anything about H's friends in Chicago yet.

Today when H got home we talked a lot more. I let him know I had met and liked the financial planner. I told him a couple of things she complimented that I knew he was proud of, like our no-debt and our savings. She agreed with him that we don't need to involve a second lawyer, and she agreed with him that our sitch was financially pretty straightforward. She thought I had gathered good information and good advice so far.

I let H know that she had advised I start establishing a financial identity in my own name and that I was going to start putting my direct deposit into an account in my own name, and he was fine with that. I let him know it would be transparent and still joint funds, so he would know I wasn't trying anything underhanded. He seemed fine with it. I'm glad I had a chance to tell him before he noticed the paychecks missing.

H leaves tomorrow for Utah and I will take S14 to lax camp at Navy, then on Saturday S12 returns from boy scout camp and I might take him to the beach where a friend of mine from high school and college is visiting, up in New Jersey. I'll have to come back Monday to pick up S14 and get him to another lax camp.

That means Friday night I'll have no H and no boys home. Thinking about either going out or, for a change, staying in. I need to see Bridesmaids still.