I'm not seeing what I need in order for me to consider having him come back. I think he just wants to continue to keep his options open.
It's good for you to be clear on what it would look like if he WAS serious about reconciling. He'd drop her like a hot potato, give you access to his phone and email accounts, be willing to date you without pressuring you to take him back into the house, etc etc etc. It can be good to form a mental (or written) list so that you don't confuse vague, "keeping his options open" "I just want to eat cake" behaviors with true attempts at reconciliation.
(Btw, I'm not judging one way or another the likelihood of that happening. Your H was able to live in fantasyland for so long, he's only now dealing with reality, and sometimes that really snaps them out of it. But I recommend you keep enforcing those boundaries - nice job, btw - unless he shows you clearcut evidence of sincere intent. And even then, you'd be well within your rights to say "No, I'm over it" if that's what you want to do. )
