Thanks Snod! I saw the texts myself and loved friend's response. The friend told her to grow up.
The text started with an invite to a tupperware party at a hotel. I wonder if XW was going to do something to her? XW does not know her so I wonder how she got her number, if it was her.
Basically, I had to explain the entire situation (divorce) to my friend as she is a new friend and did not know what was going on. She understood and agreed that if it was XW, she is batty!
I am starting to unpack the last of my things. I realized that I quit unpacking because i didn't want to accept that this all was happening. I am ready to move forward through.
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
TM, A tupperware party? Sounds like she was hoping she would take the bait and reply to her. I can't even imagine a tupperware party at a hotel unless it's a very large party. Your friend's response was good, but I would advise her not to be sucked into your xw's drama and do not respond to any more texts or calls. In fact, your friend may need to document the calls just in case she needs a restraining order at a later date. Don't be surprised at anything a panic stricken mlcer will do!
There are several ways of getting someone's number if you know how to google and want to pay a minimal fee for the information.
I'm glad you are moving forward...it's time!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I think YOU need to get all up in exW's face about this - maybe even send her a lawyer's letter about it. Document document and document in case you need a restraining order later.
Thanks folks! It's been documented and friend is saving the texts. I don't have proof that it was XW so I am not going to make the accusation unless I am sure. The number was restricted on a reverse phone call search. Pretty good odds it is her since friend does not really hang out with anyone else. Unless it was a wrong number. That would really be a coincidence.
Friend told texter that she was not goig to be intimidated and told her to grow up. She stated that she won't respond to anymore calls, but will inform me if they continue. Lawyer will be involved at that point.
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
I'd have a serious talk with ExW and tell her under NO circumstances will that kind of B.S. be tolerated, and that if she tries that crap again you'll slap her with a restraining order so fast it'll make her head spin.
You have to discourage this kind of behavior quickly and decisively or it's gonna escalate.
I'm totally serious here, btw. I find it extremely disturbing that your ExW somehow found out about this woman and found her phone number. Serious stalker behavior.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
I seem to be detaching pretty well lately and hadly with about XW anymore. Sadly I think that it took actually signing the D papers to finally detach. Ironically, I think that this might stem from my Catholic upbringing where divorce is not really allowed or recognized. I know that I was holding on to the marriage because I loved XW and not because "I had to." Somehow though the papers must have been a cathartic release, perhaps something that physically felt like cutting the cord.
I know that I still love XW, but need to save myself from her bad decisions. Whatever the case, I wish her the best and I am startig to try new things on my own. Next week when i have time, I will start to exercise again and go biking. I am also planning to see Bob Dylan this summer, which has been one of my dreams.
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
TM, I understand what you are saying about the divorce papers and detachment. It appears that once we sign the papers, even though we may still love the mlcer, it's a way to help up us over the hump and we aren't focusing any longer on how to get them back. Our focus slowly turns back to us, work, outside activities, friends and family. The mlcer is actually not our main focus any longer.
You'll discover that there are so many things that you want to do now that the dust has settled. Make a list of the things that you want to do and do not hesitate to do them. I see you've already listed exercising, biking and a Bob Dylan concert...that's a great start!
Live your life to the fullest!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
