In home separation? Off / On? Still WAW? Dunno

[breakdownbill]

Seen your post after I'd replied to the previous one.

I find this to be interesting.

Was it "our" or was it "yours" or was it "hers"

You know lack of communication goes both ways.

And in no ways does it lead to OM.

I see it as an issue that she did not understand the long term plans of yours with teaching.

That she did not explain to you in a way that you would understand her concerns.

That you two ended up putting the schooling and children first.

To be fair I threw myself into Uni and could have made more time to spend with my wife. But her way of dealing with it was complaining about everything and pushing me further away - and we just drifted.

I would say things like, 'i know it's crap at the moment with all this studying but it'll be worth it for us'.

I guess my wifes way was a textbook cheeseless tunnel approach which she exhausted herself with.

If my wife had used an approach like you suggested, I'd like to think I would have recognised how important it was to work on my marraige. I'll never know, because that's in the past.

But I agree, it was no excuse to have weak boundaries and her actions (continuing) make the possibility of any R that much harder if we both wanted to give it another shot.

Bill