Never really thought about it from that angle, 'what if it was a male friend doing this'.
If it was a male friend, there'd be no kids involved and I could cut them out of my life completely.
When I first found out about the OM I wanted to hit him, but when I rationalised the possible consequences of that action ( ie record not being able to teach), weighed up against the work I've put in I stopped myself.
No matter how bad you think you're getting screwed over, the kids have got to come first and i'm lucky I guess that even though I hate the situation, I still get on with my wife, I still get on with her well enough to be friends.
That's a good thing IMO, no matter what type of R I have with my W in the future, whether it's as husband and wife or co-parenting friends.
Bill
As a male, I make the analogy as the significant other being a male and it makes it much easier to see if your being taken advantage of and whether you should tolerate it. Somehow under the guise of "love" we tolerate these actions. I'm starting to wonder if "love" would perform these actions. Actually it is "love", "self-love"...
What I did get on this board is to understand how females tend to look at the situation. Cheaters and non-cheaters. It kinda helps you with detachment.
After all the crap WE have been through in db-land, I'm sure most of us would just want someone who:
1. Doesn't lie to us ( or severly ) 2. Does not cheat on us 3. Does not take advantage of us 4. Does not allow others to take advantage of us 5. Loves us, even when we don't have much 6. Someone who wants to meet our needs as we meet theres.
