As this is my first post, I apologize in advance if this story goes all over the place.

Some background on me : I've been reading this forum for a couple months, have read through DR, and am seeing an IC who believes in the DB/DR methods, so that's very helpful!

My Story: I'll try to keep this as brief as I can. My wife and I have been married for just 15 months, and unfortunately I find myself on this board. Before we got married, we dated LD for about 3 months, then she moved down from her hometown in central Florida to South Florida to be with me. We dated for a little over a year and were engaged for a year before getting married.

Only a few months after she moved down to south Florida, she began to express her unhappiness with the area. She wasn't making any friends and dearly missed her friends in central Florida. Unfortunately, I brushed off these feelings as temporary, explaining she needed some time to adjust and make some new friends. As she had a hard time finding a job, I was able to get her a job at the company I worked for (Small company with just 4 employees, one of which is my older brother). She took the job, and suddenly we were together 24 hours a day, every day. While I LOVED this, she clearly was missing her independence, her circle of friends etc... But again I kept thinking that this phase would pass and she'd be able to find some friends and outlets to make her happy again. All the while, I kept giving more and more of myself to her in hopes of filling the void... something I've learned did exactly the opposite.

In February of this year, I had the feeling that something was terribly off, but my wife has always been a very internal person, keeping her feelings to herself, especially if they are feelings that she knows would hurt me (as I tend to be hypersensitive at times). However, this feeling of dread got the best of me and I snooped through her cell phone. BIG mistake. I found some emails and pictures that she'd sent to an ex, and I was devastated.

Side Note: Earlier in our relationship, I found out she'd sent an email to this ex shortly after we'd got together apologizing for abrupt ending of their relationship once she met me. They had dated years ago, LD, and although he cheated on her and they broke up, she always had feelings for him and they were kinda dating when my wife and I met. She abruptly stopped talking to him and moved down to be with me...

Back to the story: I confronted her about the emails (which stated that she was planning on moving back to central Florida and our marriage would depend on if I went too) and picture and it blew up. During that conversation, she told me we'd been finished for a long time, that she wasn't happy at all and thought there was too much damage to ever repair.

I immediately started seeing an IC, as did she. I quickly started doing some 180s: She complained that I was too clingy and touchy-feely, always having to touch her whenever she'd walk by, and my therapist suggested I stop... And it worked wonders! She started IC and things started to seem like they were getting better quickly.

A month later, she left for a visit to central Florida for the weekend, and when she returned, she told me she wanted to have a talk. During that conversation, she told me that although the last month of our relationship was the best we'd ever had, she was still so unhappy and couldn't stand to be in south Florida with me anymore. She told me she needed to find her independence, find out who she was, and think about things. I begged an pleaded, but her mind was made up. A few weeks later (May 2012) she packed up her car and left.

I, through DR and my therapist, decided that "Less is More" when it came to our communications now that she'd left me. I let her initiate all contact. At first, there was very little, but over the weeks she began calling or texting more often (about once a week or so). The conversations are always pleasant, at first, but as they go on she'll begin asking questions about our relationship and I find myself getting very sad and needy, trying to explain why I didn't do this or why I did that... Then she'll start crying and I feel we've ruined the good conversation. I began following the DR advice a little more and most of the time keeping the conversations light and being the one to end the conversations.

However, on Tuesday we had another great talk and just as I was getting off the phone, she asked me a question: Why didn't I fight for her to stay? This devestated me and I went off on a tangent about how hard I was fighting, how I fought for her all the time while we were together, but I'd come to find out it didn't work, so I decided to let her go and find happiness in central Florida, with the OM or whatever.

I was devastated at my own reaction to her question, as I felt I attacked her and didn't keep my cool. I went to see my therapist yesterday, who advised that instead of continuing to profusely apologize about my actions, I send her a quick email asking if she would be interested if I started persuing her more in the hopes of rekindling our relationship. As she'd initiated the relationship talk, this seemed like a good idea.

She responded to the email telling me that she was glad I'd reacted the way I did because it gave her some answers. She told me that she felt that I never fought for her in our relationship, even though I always told her I'd do anything for her. She felt I didn't fight for her when she had disagreements with my family, when she brought up her unhappiness in south Florida etc. She told me that she cared deeply for me and always wants me in her life, but feels there was too much damage done by both of us to ever fix it. She said she hurt me too much and feels I'll never be able to get past that.

I called her immediately and asked if she wanted to talk about it. She went into a little more detail, about how upset she was over how happy she is in central Florida over the last 3 months without me, about how unhappy she was for the last few years and unfortunately I was a big part of that, and that she can't see us being together again.

Obviously I'm devastated by this conversation. I know that "Believe nothing she says and only half of what she does" is commonly thrown around, but it's so hard to do that. All our conversations seem to be good, she's always sweet to me and never outwardly tries to hurt me... I'm just so lost at this latest twist.

I'm off to see my therapist again in a few hours, but I've been tossing around a new 180 that I want your advice on. As she feels that I've never fought for her, I keep thinking that one major 180 I could do is to move to central Florida to begin fighting for her again. Am I way off track on that?

Thanks for reading, sorry it was a novel. I'm looking forward to hearing what you guys have to say... Any advice is GREATLY appreciated.