Quick question for GH, Jack and others who have reconciled with their wives after an affair...
Did you feel that everything that you experienced with W prior to your 'situation' was tainted by what your W had done?
For example, for me, I look at pictures of me, my W and kids at Disney last summer and I am just reminded that W was with OM after we went on that trip... even though we were in the middle of our separation when we went to Disney, I just look at it as tainted... same with all of the other fun stuff that we did during the times in our S where we were exploring the idea of reconciliation, ie, the U2 concert, Disney, our trip to Buffalo, other concerts...
When I think of those things, and that she was with OM after we did them, I get no joy from the experiences themselves. In fact, I'm just reminded that OM was still in her life during those times.
I didn't experience this specifically, Denver. I still have TRIGGERS when I drive by a place THEY would go, or I hear a song on the radio that was a hit during that godawful summer of 2007, but I don't see OUR experiences together as any less significant than I did before her affair. I try to write it off as "that's when she was messed up," and since our marriage was really very good before that and very good SINCE that (other than the 2-3 years of fits and starts of piecing), I'm able to do so.
But that's just me. Everyone has different sets of triggers and emotions that they go thru, and I certainly wouldn't discount your own if I were you. Own them, try to understand them, and try to heal from them.
