Thanks Mach. No worries....this is a process and at some point the training wheels are going to come off!
Yes, she had a clear understanding of the fact she was in charge and like I said, in hindsight, I do think she had it under control. 90% of the negativity I felt I think I put on myself....I didn't trust her, I let myself have negative thoughts, and I let myself get worked up before figuring everything out. I made assumptions that were wrong. It didn't take me long to see this so that is progress, but I want to see it before I act next time.
Been an interesting couple of days. W has been down in the dumps lately...seems mostly from stress of work, but OM has been mad at her and she's been upset about that. Their business relationship looks to be ending, so that's good from my perspective, but I can see her rebuilding the same kind of thing with new people. It's weird. She seems to feed off other people so much, whether it's negative or positive. Even as I sit hear typing I can hear her laughing and giggling, half work related half BS with someone else on the phone (who I know isn't OM). Maybe this is just who she is. So much of the Codependent No More book applies to her...probably more than me even, but that's got to be her deal, not mine. My deal is not following her around worrying about who she is talking to...that's what I can control.
I've been concentrating on no pressure, no control, no expectations. I think she feels the difference. She asked me to dinner the other night, and we ended up spending the whole night together. It was fun, but also a little uncomfortable. My schedule just filled up though, so I probably won't be able to make another outing this week At least until Saturday night, when we have a retrov post session on conflict resolution.
For the rest of the week, I'd like to finish the codependent book and get our dialogue questions finished. We did 4 this week on forgiving and trusting....a couple of them are pretty deep and could shed some light on things for both of us. I'd also like to have game night with the kids again Friday and have dinner as a family on Sunday. Man, my week really did just fill up!!
At least until Saturday night, when we have a retrov post session on conflict resolution.