A Huddle of Turtles

[zig]

Thanks for answering, stronger. Your words reallly spoke to me.

forgiving meant letting go of the victim role

You have hit the crux of what was a pattern throughout my life - sub-consciously seeing myself as the victim. I never felt that on a conscious level really, but deep down I carried some distorted version of it.


I also think that for everyone here, the act of forgiving our partners also means forgiving ourselves (for whatever we regret, for what we didnt do, or to forgive and give ourselves permission to do what is best for us).


Yes you're right - the biggest thing is to forgive myself - and I'm not sure what I am forgiving myself for - I think right now I am in the throes of forgiving myself for being shaped by my experiences and not realizing how they affected me. As for doing what is best for myself - I still have to learn about that:)


Your perspective helps a lot, stronger, and I'm so pleased that you gave it. I stopped by your thread and read a bit, and want to go back and catch up. Your letter that you wrote to your h - it was really beautiful, and i am so pleased for you that you were in a position where you could even write that, let alone give it to him.

thank you again
zig