A Huddle of Turtles

[ces67]

Morning Zig,

Ah forgivness...What a great and challenging topic. I'm with you on the touch & go aspects of it. And like what GWN mentions, its definitely more difficult when I don't see remorse coming from my W. But that doesn't change the need for it. Even moreso, its a reminder that those things most valuable are often those that require great effort to gain.

But being a bear of simple brains, it helps me to keep it simple. Jesus' life has always been my great example of forgiveness. To paraphase some of His teachings, even when we were his enemies, He still made the choice to die for our sins, offering forgiveness.

Now, not sure where you stand on Christianity, but that aside for now, here's the basic teaching I get.
-Forgiveness was a choice of Jesus' character, not my actions.
-This choice was done to help create a way to move to a deeper and closer relationship with those he loved.
-He knew some would appreciate the gift and others would not.
-He didn't let the negative impact the opportunity for the positive.
-For those who recognized the act of love & forgiveness, they sought out Jesus and committed to Him, creating a deeper relationship.
-From His teachings, this response always involved a change of heart by those who understood His gift.

So when I choose to forgive my W, it helps create a greater opportunity to show love and a way to a deeper relationship. She may or may not respond. If she doesn't then our ability to restore will be limted if not gone, but I will have left he load behind me.

If she does accept the forgiveness, then a change of heart for her to let go of actions that hurt our M can more readily take place, helping us to move forward. And it works the other way too because there are things I need forgiveness for as well.