Kat: The divorce effect really never goes away. It had a profound effect on Ashley who turned 13 just as her dad was leaving. My dad told me it was the worst possible time for it. Just as she needed a positive male figure in her life.
Ours was an idyllic mother/daughter relationship before her dad left - tumultuous and difficult after. But love prevails.
As with any teen daughter - stay involved. Know her friends. Support her good ideas - be firm with the rules. Love her unconditionally but let her make her own decisions about her dad. That was one thing I had a problem with but I learned.
I'm happy to say that my children have grown into wonderful, caring, responsible adults. They will forever be altered by the divorce but it has not ruined them. Bad stuff happens to good people all the time.
Too bad your ex won't figure out that your daughter's trauma is caused by his poor choices. But it's never them. It is much easier to bury your head in the sand than to accept responsibility for your actions.
Your daughter comes from a good home with a loving Mom and she will be more influenced by you and her older siblings than by friends (in the long run). Just love her and listen to her.
