I just wanted to point out that her "suddenly" finding out you are going to a self help retreat probably through her for a loop.
This type of unexpected positive behavior is good for her to see. It shows her YOU are changing for the better. The fact you are going by yourself and didn't ask her to go shows her that you are not as desperate to be with her as she may think.
I haven't been myself, but when you get back I wouldn't talk about it unless she asks specific questions. Let your own "radiance" be the evidence.
If you talk about it may sound like you are trying to convince her and yourself it was worth it.
I don't know why she would, but there's also a chance she may try to test your positive outlook by throwing a lot of drama your way. From what you have stated she needs you as an escape goat to blame her problems. A happy Navy could be a Navy she can't blame anymore. Just be careful if she starts fights out of nowhere.
Either way you are making good progress, I know it just doesn't seem like it. Personally I still believe there is a chance your W will wake up out of it, unfortunately IMHO it just won't happen until it is at least nearly too late.
