What sort of example do you feel that you are setting for your child by allowing your H to continue an A right under your nose?
This is always the toughest part. ^^^
This is the toughest part. I am struggling very much with the very same thing.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
What sort of example do you feel that you are setting for your child by allowing your H to continue an A right under your nose?
This is always the toughest part. ^^^
Thank you. I posted that 3 days ago. It didn't come up till now. Thank you for noticing Starsky. I think it is a very valid and important point for people to see and think of.
What sort of example do you feel that you are setting for your child by allowing your H to continue an A right under your nose?
This is always the toughest part. ^^^
Starsky, zig is GALing & doing her own thing mostly (from what I read...maybe I missed something), so how is this under her nose? I don't think her H lives at home. (Again, unless I missed something)
We all know what your point of view is on all this. Lord knows you post it on enough threads. LOL And maybe I'm taking this wrong, but you "insinuating" that zig is a bad example for her child by letting her husband work through his own "mess" and going about her own life is just too much!
You have very good advice, but some of it often gets lost in what I call "forceful writing". You can give your opinion, but do you have to make people feel bad (or weak) if they don't follow it?
Just an observation. Sorry for the hijack, zig. I seem to keep doing that! I think the heat is getting to me. LOL
I actually read this about half an hour ago - i started to post 3 times and deleted each one, saying to myself, calm down, you don't have to jump to the bait.
First of all to clarify - I was not aware of this post until this evening. I must have missed it when shocked one - whoever he is, posted it. It's from page 7 out of 23 pages, for cripes sake.
Starsky - I don't know, what your point is to bring it up now, 16 odd pgs later, but the fact that you did gives a really strong message ESPECIALLY after my last posts where i have clearly indicated that i am struggling through a lot of internal stuff.
So instead of mind-reading, I am going to simply ask: what is your point in highlighting it and quoting it?
As for shocked one asking me that - who is he and where did he pop up from and has he read all my threads.
The question he asks - I am simply baffled. There are A LOT of assumptions there. I have had NO dialogue with this person, I have no idea if he's ever read my thread, and to pop a question like that, out of nowhere, and possibly out of context is nothing short of inciting and outrageous.
RoRo thank-you for jumping in, and you DO have your facts right. you are certainly NOT hijacking. Until now, my h has NOT lived in our home (i asked him to move out!), my s is not aware of ow as far as I know and ow lives 4 states away.
The example I am setting: the best one I am capable of - to take the high road. To show my family that even though it is a terribly painful thing for all of us, I can be strong, not fall apart, put a genuine smile on my face and help them through their tough times. That I am not using anger to justify my position in this sitch. That even when h is spewing at me, I can stay calm and dignified. That no matter which way it eventually goes, I can carry us through this, and when our s grows up, he can look back at this time and remember that his mom was strong and faced this well. THAT is the sort of example I am setting.
So no, it is NOT a tough one for me by any means, to set that example. I don't have any issues whatsoever with myself about the way I have comported myself during this last 11 months. I may have been terribly emotional with my friends and on this bb, but in front of h and s I have only shown my strong side.
If anyone wants to ask questions such as these, it would be wonderful if they took the time to understand the persons' sitch in more detail before posting.
RoRo as for the heat - at first i thought you meant the heat on my thread haha. but yeah i know what you mean 108 deg. here today.
it's not the heat outside, it's the heat in here (grin)
are you a sag btw (grin?)
thanks, sweet girl
(( )) zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
The example I am setting: the best one I am capable of - to take the high road. To show my family that even though it is a terribly painful thing for all of us, I can be strong, not fall apart, put a genuine smile on my face and help them through their tough times. That I am not using anger to justify my position in this sitch. That even when h is spewing at me, I can stay calm and dignified. That no matter which way it eventually goes, I can carry us through this, and when our s grows up, he can look back at this time and remember that his mom was strong and faced this well. THAT is the sort of example I am setting.
I think that is a helll of an example Zig. I would be proud to have you as my mom.
Zig, it's clear to me that despite your "keep on challenging me" posts, you really only want cheerleaders on your thread. I'll spend my time elsewhere, and leave you to your picnic. I tried to jump in to challenge your thinking and offer a different perspective, and because frankly your mentor abandoned you and I felt sorry about that.
Ro, I'm not sure why you have such a strong reaction to a strong male voice, or why a simple bump of a 2x4 post would set you off do much, but I suspect it has more to do with you than it does with me.
