Hi JKS I just caught up on a week or so of your thread and a running theme for you is emotions that threaten to overwhelm you like a wave crashing over your head, and then later you seem to feel better. I wanted to point out that when you took yourself shopping and immediately felt better, that showed some emotional strength that you can tap into. What else makes you feel better? Keep a mental "menu" of those things and pick one when you need one. Take care of your own mental state and take back a lot of your power that way. You don't have to let yourself be buffeted by those waves.
I was also wondering, what are the changes you're working on? What is going to make you a better you and a better wife/mom going forward?
And finally, you mentioned that your H was doing this painful stuff to you on a weekly basis. No, he's not. He's not doing this to you. And the hurt you feel is coming when you zero in on a moment in his life, such as the OW's birthday party. You don't know, and you're mindreading a hurting your own self, when you assume how that came about and fixate on it. Maybe she's a brat about her birthday and expects everyone to make it a huge deal (how old is she?). Maybe not, either way you should look at the bigger picture and imagine it moving a lot more slowly than the one-two punches you see when you zero in and fixate like that. THIS is exactly what GAL is for and why everyone on this site talks about it so much.
(((((jks))))
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
