If She Won't Stop the Affair?

[adinva]

Hi - I'm sorry for your sitch. I do not know if my H does or doesn't have an A going on, so I can't speak to that. I only know he doesn't want to be married to ME, so it's been ME that I've been working on all this time, and I recommend to you that you work on YOU and start seeing if there are any things about you that you can improve to start being the better choice, for your W or whoever comes after her. Be an actor in your sitch, not a victim. Improve yourself.

But what I really popped in to tell you was about a week after my bomb date both of my kids went to summer camp and I had a whole week at home with just my H. I was very nervous and uncomfortable about it, going in. I ended up deciding to use the free time to do some activities we rarely ever had time to do, like long hikes and bike rides and workouts at the gym. I invited my H when I felt like it and sometime he came along. It was good, especially with the activity as a distraction, just to enjoy an activity together. We talked a little, but mainly I tried to avoid R talk as the DB method suggests.

I took it as an opportunity to quietly show him some of the good there was between us and to demonstrate emotional strength and restraint. It was hard, but no harder than avoiding him all week and feeling terrible about the bomb. The physical activity kept me exhausted and feeling good.