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Joined: Feb 2001
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Hi sandi2 -

Are you available to mentor any of the newbies requesting help? You are the person I would recommend to many of those who requested, but I don't want to overburden you. But they sure could use your advice.


sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
sgctxok #2259394 07/02/12 11:59 PM
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sandi2 Offline OP
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I am so flattered that you would recommend me as a mentor! However, I don't think it would be fair of me to sign up for the job at this time. I am hoping that I will be able to post on a daily basis again, in the very near future. So if boot camp is still in session....then I will try my best to offer any help that I can.

Thank you for considering me for the task.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
sandi2 #2260467 07/07/12 12:58 PM
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Sandi2 - after posting on newcomers today I went back to read your old posts to me, from way back. still helpful. thanks.




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Hi Sandi2. I've been back home after 7 months of living apart from kids and wife. We are having setbacks. Both of us snooping and both of us having reservations. I moved back and we swept things under the rug. My W refuses a counselor even though I suggested that even during goods times. My wife currently giving me a silent treatment and refuses to talk about Sitch. I have an email I crafted to validate her feelings but I also have some feelings Ive wanted to convey to her and never have. Seems like me and her are both struggling with trust and don't know how to get it back on track. Of course my actions. But also her actions which I know I can control. I just feel we never talk and that communication is 95% of marriage problems.

here is my latest:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...446#Post2265446

You've commented before and I really appreciate your honesty.

I continue to council for myself. I'm looking for a day job and giving up my company. I've also been dieting and eating healthy. I do GAL but not quite enough. Young kids and never get them in bed before 9.

Any feedback is good feedback.

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Hi Sandi, hope you're well. You were wonderfully helpful to me in 2008 when my wife left me.

Well we've been back under the same roof for four years now and have had two children in the meantime. It's been a very long road and I've only really started to feel better about our M in the last 18 months.

I sincerely wish you all the best in your own marriage. Thanks so much for your generosity here.


Me: 46
W: 46
T: 23
M: 20
DS12
DD11
DS5

W left: 01/28/08
Discovered OM: 02/26/08
W back for 9 days: 04/08
W returned 05/21/08
EA/PA - 01/08-07/09
W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
GH31 #2265551 07/25/12 11:43 PM
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sandi2 Offline OP
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Wow, thanks guys! It means so much whenever anyone takes time to look me up......especially after a long time.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
sandi2 #2265710 07/26/12 03:09 PM
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You deserve it, Sandi. You've helped an AWFUL lot of people here, and saved more marriages than you'll probably ever know. smile


Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
sandi2 #2266992 08/01/12 02:05 AM
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Hi sandi,

I, for one have read a lot of your thoughts and found them very eye opening. At this point, my W just asked for Divorce (out of the blue) as well as admitted to seeing OM and I find myself at a loss. I would appreciate your input if you have time to go through my sitch.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...980#Post2266980

Thanks


Freshman Class of 2012

M-49
W-42
1D-10
T 10 YEARS
M 9 YEARS
EA/MLC 07/2010
Separation 28/05/2012
PA confirmed 31/07/12
W Asked for D 31/07/12
D on and off the table since then
Arsene #2283949 09/26/12 05:10 PM
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Sandi, would you mind looking at my sitch?

I am at a loss as to what to do. I am doing my 180s and he notices but says he thinks it is a facade and won't last. Said OK to counseling but is so angry. I don't know how to uninvite him from counseling or what I should do about any thing else.

He moved back to bed, took me hunting (something we enjoyed together) took me to breakfast but then blows up whenever I suggest we hang out.

:-(


Me- 29 H - 36
T - 5y M - 2y
D - 11 months
BD#1 June 2013
BD#2 H files 10/28/13
Retrouvaille Nov 13
BD #3 H Files 2nd time 4/22/14
Fires L 7 days later. No court dates set
Supposedly he's moving out?
Joined: May 2012
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Sandi2 was just wondering if you can take a look at my thread.
You gave me some really good advise and insight just wondered
If you have any more smile
Thanks



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