You have gotten some fantastic advice here Joey. Keep reading and making the small changes. You will see that with each little change you may feel just a little better and get a little farther. Dialing it back a bit is a great idea! Focus on you. Enjoy your bike ride!!
As I start to get out more and do things that are fun for me, how do I go about it? What I mean is like yesterday I went to ride my bike for awhile. I emailed her to let her know where I would be and approx what time I should be home. Should I continue to do that or just come and go as I please?
Let's say this weekend I plan to do something completely out of character for me--do I tell her where I am going and what I'll be doing or just tell her I am going out for awhile?
How do some of you handle your GAL? How much info about what you are doing do you share? And how do you handle it if you are still living together?
Does she let you know what she's throughout the day?
If she's there you might say "I'm going out for awhile."
She doesn't tell me if she goes out to lunch with people during her work day, but on the weekends she tells me where she is going and approx when she will be home
Having a good day today. No emails or txt or calls. That was a huge problem for me before and after the BOMB. When I would pick up my phone with the intent of txt or emailing, instead I would come here and read some of the threads on LRT
My son has been here today as well. He and I went to the park and walked some nature trails then had a picnic. He said it was adventure day! He kept saying how much he loved his family and he wished mommy was with us. My DB coach had mentioned doing fun things with the 3 of us during this 3 month time frame so maybe we can do this coming weekend
When she gets home this evening, I am just going to ask her if there is anything she needs to do before I leave to go rude my bike. I found a new trail yesterday that I want to explore a little more. I had forgotten how much I love riding my mountain bike. Maybe after I get into a little better shape I'll join the local Mtn bike club
Ok. So I screwed up a little last night. After our son was asleep I went up to her(our) room and asked to talk for a few minutes. I just wanted to ask how her day went and if there was anything going on the rest of the week. No M talk or anything like that. She seemed annoyed and I kept it short
I did better today. She sent me a small email about the cell phone bill which I took care of and responded to. Kept it short
Then I emailed her to let her know I was going out to ride my Mtn bike. The only reason I did is because I am a FIRM believer in telling someone where you are going before you go out to the woods for anyhthing
I am having so much trouble detaching. When I got home from riding yesterday evening, her and my son were playing a board game. Our son started right in wanting me to play and u could hear my wife say--no, daddy's tired. Let him rest. Etc. I went ahead and joined the game and was a little upset. How's it get place to tell our son I don't want to or can't play a game.
I also noticed she wasn't wearing her wedding rings. She was wearing them when she got home. She knows how much this really angers me. I was proud if myself. I didn't say a word
Ok. So I screwed up a little last night. After our son was asleep I went up to her(our) room and asked to talk for a few minutes. I just wanted to ask how her day went and if there was anything going on the rest of the week. No M talk or anything like that. She seemed annoyed and I kept it short
I did better today. She sent me a small email about the cell phone bill which I took care of and responded to. Kept it short
Then I emailed her to let her know I was going out to ride my Mtn bike. The only reason I did is because I am a FIRM believer in telling someone where you are going before you go out to the woods for anyhthing
I am having so much trouble detaching. When I got home from riding yesterday evening, her and my son were playing a board game. Our son started right in wanting me to play and u could hear my wife say--no, daddy's tired. Let him rest. Etc. I went ahead and joined the game and was a little upset. How's it get place to tell our son I don't want to or can't play a game.
I also noticed she wasn't wearing her wedding rings. She was wearing them when she got home. She knows how much this really angers me. I was proud if myself. I didn't say a word
Stop pursuing her. Stop asking how her day went. It's suffocating her with your feelings.
Find someone else to tell your whereabouts in the woods. Leave her a note about your return.
When she put words in your mouth about needing rest you should have said: "W, please don't mind read me. I'm delighted to play with our son."
What's up with the cell phone bill?
Let go of the wedding rings issue. She has spoken and acted on that. Let her go and use this "trial" period you accepted to lead yourself and your son.
Your son is watching you and your actions.
Be a Rock Dad.
Give your wife what she wants. A taste of life without you smothering her.
Be friendly and cordial but not a friend. Be respectful but firm with your boundaries.
She put a time limit on the "end" of your marriage and you agreed to it. Use that time wisely now.
