Exactly...im slowly learning to try to leave her wanting whenever we speak. I didnt do a great job last night, but im learning to recognize when she starts fidgeting she's ready to be done.. here forward i'll try to wrap it up at the first fidget.
I know i went wrong in communication, affection without sex and controlling behavior, and thats a trifecta of pushing them either toward someone else, or at least away from you.
Im so eager to learn b/c I genuinely love my wife and want to succeed in busting my divorce before it starts. She said we're taking 6 months off to work on it, and although she hasn't started the us working on it part yet...i wanna be way ahead of the game when that time comes. Because I know that denying, arguing and justifying my behavior will spell devistation. So im trying to become much more calm and even keeled....and im trying to smile alot more.
I used to be in a good mood always and its completely my fault that it changed to being scowling alot more than smiling.
Im one of those people who always thought the next promotion...or paying off this...or buying another car...i could go on and on.....was going to make me happy. Even though I had heard that would never make me happy i still bought into the fact that it would. Crap im 39 years old and need to grow up. I still own 4 vehicles and there is only one of me.
So im taking this time to learn from those much wiser than me, and for once im doing it with a really open mind. I quit drinking...im thinking of quitting tobacco,(but even the thought of that one makes me nervous) im sellig one truck now and will be selling one of my cars right after it sells.
And being open minded is a huge 180 for me, but thanks for saying I am....it means its working. Because honestly a year ago i wouldnt have been, but this time i made a conscious decision to not be defensive...take my role in things and accept that I have to change because I dont wanna end up being a bitter old man that no one wants to be around.
