Should I initiate R talk?

[Denver_2010]

Ok MrBond but are you saying I should just ignore her questions? Or lie about where I've been(and with whom?). The thing is we are separated but so far, we have been communicating. As i said earlier, she does ask a lot of Qs about my growth and the work I've been putting in. How do you answer a direct question without lying? I mean if a neighbor asks a question, I'll either answer it honestly, be vague or simply tell them to mind their own business. I won't just walk away and ignore it.

With regards to the OM thing being OK, you are right. It isn't. I guess I was trying to validate instead of judge and this came out. When i saw her turn away (perhaps in shame or in sadness) I just had to say something and this came out (mental note: count to 10 before saying anything to W on tricky issues). I'm still working on detaching. That's part of why i came in NC for a few days.

So after a week apart with NC, I should just get there and say:"Hi there! Hope everything went well. How's D8 doing? Anything I should know? Ok Bye"

You are getting it. Bond is dead on correct here. IMO, if she asks you about personal growth, just respond vaguely... "I'm learning a lot from all of this" ... and leave it at that... for now anyway.

Denver