Marriage = busted. Help me bust my divorce too!!

[MrBond]

"why do you say he's trying to trust me when he's said repeatedly that he wants a D? "

That's two separate points. He wants to trust but doesn't know how. So his initial reaction is to run away from the pain. I suspect that's how things were dealt with in his family. When he was growing up he probably learned that you either bullied to get what you want (this also includes playing the victim) or that you just sweep things under the rug. Neither which are healthy.

I also suspect that he doesn't have any positive older male role models to show how this is done.

For someone who wants a D, he certainly says it alot. Plus his apology the other day, which although seems small, is pretty big since he says he wants to D you. Is there a way to make things lighter at home. If you concentrate on the negative, that's all it will seem like and he won't see the light at the end of the tunnel.