I'm learning difficult conversations sometimes happen over time. So the fact that she couldn't handle her emotions and left isn't necessarily a bad thing, and isn't necessarily the end of the conversation.
The more I've thought about this whole situation, I've realized a dynamic pervasive throughout the last several years of our M was exposed. While I did a 180, my W did not. It has been typical of her to walk out when she gets angry and just avoid the conflict. For years, I had just apologized to smooth things over on go on with life. Well, now I have freedom from the eggshells. Frankly, I think my motives for the conversation were different than hers. She wanted to solve things right there. I wanted to get everything on the table that we are going to need to deal with.
Originally Posted By: adinva
this is just one of many decisions for years to come that it would be good for you and S's mom to try to get on the same page about.
Bingo! Actually we should have worked harder on this throughout our M. I take some responsiblity for this, as I had operated out of fear that she was going to want a D if we didn't agree (she's been bringing up the D word for about 10 years now as a solution to our problems when conflict arises).
Originally Posted By: adinva
Would she be ok if S sees you ML with a new girlfriend, hypothetically? What if she's someone you just met, is that ok? Or someone you've dated a month or two? When is it ok? If not ok to her, then she needs to agree with you on rules about how you both behave around S.
Well, my W takes it for granted I wouldn't do this, but I get your point.
I see this as a coparenting issue more than anything else.
