I wrote that if she was willing, I would like to take the 5 love languages and emotional needs surveys. One thing that frustrated her was that she said she had told me over and over what she needed, yet I kept asking her what I should do. I am a visual kind of person, so if I had this info right in front of me maybe I could be better at it.
I also told her about getting my testosterone tested and that it was low. She had wanted me to do that for a long time, but I had refused to do it. I have medicine now, and will stay on that. I also said I would read books on this side of our marriage. I know that I have some hangups on top of just not really thinking about or needing sex.
I want to find maybe an older man (at church perhaps)who is a strong leader to mentor me. I am a passive kind of person and have never fit the stereotype of macho. I don't want to be someone I am not, but I do know she was disappointed that I never seemed to step up and take care of things.
She told me when she agreed to postpone the hearing that it was not a promise of anything. We have been through this cycle before I know. But I don't want to lose her. She has tried hard over the years to be what I need, and I think it is my turn. I just hope it is not too late.
