no - he was the silent one - would NOT admit to feeling anything.
let's put it this way - his stock answer was "you're the one that's f'ed up, not me i'm fine" - before and after the accident. and his other stock answer - "I don't know"
at and after BD - he would only refer to the first 5 yrs as the source of our problems - and anything i brought up after the accident - he adamantly insisted that it was only the first 5 yrs - he was in total denial about his own role as well as acknowledging in any way that he didn't want to continue to live with me the way i was - that it was too much for him
his list of grievances was so long, it took over 2 months for them all to come out. and we talked for hours a day. he was riddled with guilt for leaving me when i was down. and now,when i'm not - well he's using that to justify that see, you got better after i left.
those thing really bothered me - now i'm letting them go and seeing it for what it was - just another human being struggling with their own stuff, as i struggle with mine. except mine is not such a struggle anymore. i relish the emotional releases when they come because now i know that they are part of my healing
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
