it was your question of what happened those 5 yrs. i actually sat down to write about it to you - and that post was seriously long. and then suddenly it triggered off a lot of insight and stuff just started coming up that i hadn't been able to deal with before - and i could see it all in a different light.
so i meant triggered by your question. if i hadn't sat down to write i wouldn't have been able to get to the core of one of the troublesome things that was really holding me back in terms of resentment toward h.
i don't know yet how to write about those 5 yrs yet. the "old"version is somewhere back in my threads, and maybe should just stay there.
in short, i had a car accident from which i didn't heal as expected, and things got really bad, and h seemed to stand by me during that time. the strain on them was huge - massive, and that's why i think that it triggered off h's crisis. i also had a second accident during the 4th yr which didn't help. suffice it to say - none of us should have had to endure what we did, but we did. now i try to see this time as one of healing for all of us. I want my boys and me to heal completely - and i know that i can lead in that, because that's where i am right now.
i am sure that my healing, can somehow heal theirs... at least in this area.
and for me that's a huge motivation to heal!!
so keep those "innocent" questions coming. they are very useful in ways we can't imagine!!!
hope you have a great day zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
