Navy The veering to the OM, and the bringing up of past grievances was a diversionary tactic. She brought it up to throw you off and regain the moral high ground. At the very least to remind herself that she doesn't want you.
As for her wanting you to be cheery about D. Your W wants to gut the family and walk away thinking she did everyone a favor. You are living your truth and that is good. This divorce is her choice, because she won't work on the marriage. Just be careful that you don't get restuck in the previous cycle of her not leaving, but not working on herself either.
