So time for a new thread and I think I am certainly ready for one. Don't know when I'll post it but I had a dream last night and a revelation. It was all about me settling with H, H's chronic avoidance, and me walking through to the next phase alone. I woke up to a random text from H asking me how my driving license testing was going.....at 7 in the morning??

I loved loved loved Grace's analogy of the golden gate bridge. Lawd knows sometimes mine has felt like a rickety swing bridge over a gorge like something out of temple of doom. But she's right there's something on the other side..and I can't get there still carrying any hope or expectation with H.

I read Kaffe and JTB dicussion on LRT and I don't like to use the word Technique but yes I think I am finally at my last resort....but I'm thinking of it as a holiday resort in my head (filled with belly dancers in novelty underpants, picnics, turtles, honey badgers, and all the other wonderful things we've cracked up about here)

I am finally 100% completely okay with him never coming back and never having a second look.

I always said that I wanted to be happy in the knowledge that I tried to give it another shot. And not only am I happy with that I'm proud that I had to the courage to admit my mistakes, take responsibility for my actions, create my own "cooling off" period, learn meditate and grow. I'm able to look back and think I was the stronger person because I was willing to try. He wasn't even willing to try because he was scared it would be more of the same.

So I have a date planned in a few days with a guy who wanted to go out with me a few months ago and I said no because of where I was at in life (I didn't tell him that) I have no expectations. He is a bit older, but I'm looking at dating in a way I didn't before. They aren't all interviews to become Mr 45, they could turn out to be a new friend. He lives near where I'll be based so I said hey if you're free do you want to meet up for coffee.

And no Vera you won't be seeing me on telly. Although if I do see a camera I'll be sure to flash the secret DB bat signal....What is that again? haha Zig don't even get me started on the young divers, and the cyclists, and the runners, and the rowers, okay enough! haha