Should I initiate R talk?

[Arsene]

Point taken Kd,

The thing is, W always hated the way men behave towards women in her culture and that's a reason why she was still unmarried at 30, when I met her. Most women here marry between 19 and 25 and many of them to men chosen by their parents. W wasn't from that upbringing and always had difficulty getting on with local men. She did have relationships but soon tired of the feeling of being a mere possession.

Denver and Mrbond, you guys are absolutely correct. I have to stop making these demands. I'm in no position to demand anything and besides, it does seem like I'm trying to control her. All I want is for D8 to still have a R with her mom and to make it as easy as possible for this to happen but I guess if W feels pressured into it, she won't be coming around now, will she?

Thanks for keeping me on my toes.

MrBond, don't worry. I'm looking into C for D8 as well.

Ok MrBond but are you saying I should just ignore her questions? Or lie about where I've been(and with whom?). The thing is we are separated but so far, we have been communicating. As i said earlier, she does ask a lot of Qs about my growth and the work I've been putting in. How do you answer a direct question without lying? I mean if a neighbor asks a question, I'll either answer it honestly, be vague or simply tell them to mind their own business. I won't just walk away and ignore it.

With regards to the OM thing being OK, you are right. It isn't. I guess I was trying to validate instead of judge and this came out. When i saw her turn away (perhaps in shame or in sadness) I just had to say something and this came out (mental note: count to 10 before saying anything to W on tricky issues). I'm still working on detaching. That's part of why i came in NC for a few days.

So after a week apart with NC, I should just get there and say:"Hi there! Hope everything went well. How's D8 doing? Anything I should know? Ok Bye"

I know you might have said all that before but I'd still like different perspectives on coming out of NC.

MrBond, I hear what you're saying but still, specifically, how should I answer these Qs?