Musing from AmyC

[Arsene]

The other thing is that maybe those odds will change. With education, maybe more people will learn about Standing and how to Stand and some who would have kicked’em to the curb quickly will not do that and will someday recover their marriage instead. That’s one of the goals of places like this. The hope is that next year there will be more reconciled marriages than this year and even more in two years and in ten a whole lot more—more than there would have been without places like this.

Yes. So true. In fact, my first marriage ended up in Separation and then Divorce and after reading DB, I realise that I did all the wrong things back then. I was much younger (33) and my first Wife left for pretty much the same reasons as W is leaving now. It's just unfortunate that i learned a great deal about living through a separation after having gone through my first one. I just wish I had learned that much about living in a relationship.
This time around, I didn't follow what hadn't worked the first time around. I felt prepared (thanks to sites like this) and i think I have done well enough even though I still have lots to learn. At least, now i understand why W is doing what she's doing (in fact, I now understand why 1stW left as well).
This time around, I want to learn how to live in a relationship. I want to make sure that "if" I can save my M, it'll be once and for all and that if i can't, that my next relationship (another if)won't end up like the previous 2.
In the meantime i still think that the work I've done so far on myself is good and should have been done ages ago.
I'm all for changing the odds. When you bet on a long shot, the odds are way against you but the rewards are much higher when your horse comes in.

Thanks for this great thread. I learned a lot. Thanks AmyC I wish you all the best where ever you are now.