Marriage = busted. Help me bust my divorce too!!

[mamabird]

Today's update is not so encouraging. We went to MC today and I'm not sure how many times he said "We're done" "It's over" and "I'm not going to be married to you any more." Many. 50. I don't know. A lot. He seems pretty sure of that.

Perhaps I am grasping at straws but he does agree that we need to understand each other better in order to move on to the co-parenting stage, so he has reluctantly agreed to more MC. The therapist said he hasn't gotten over the first breach and he started arguing with her. Then he decided he didn't like the therapist. He did agree to read the "After the Affair" book - I'm not sure why but he did agree and I gave him my copy.

I guess my one sticking point in all of this is that he made this decision very quickly - as soon as he discovered the A. He physically left (we were on vacation and he actually flew home without us) and hasn't wavered much since then. He said he spent his time in Hawaii meditating on it.

At this point, I know it's time for GAL (which I have been doing). I'm still afraid he doesn't fully understand where I'm coming from, and he doesn't have faith that even if I do put in the work, that our M will change. All in all, he doesn't think he can get past the two times where I stepped out on him (his words).

I did reciprocate the apology as Bond suggested but didn't go as far as to say that I had faith in him and that he's stronger than he believes. He thinks he's being strong by walking away. And we did continue our conversation outside the therapist's office for an hour. Still heated but probably one of the better conversations we've had since this started 6 weeks ago.

You guys are the experts on this - so I would love to hear your thoughts. Is it time for LRT? He did say that if I felt he wasn't understanding me, to send him an email explaining my position. I'm not sure if that will help or not, but it might clarify things. 6 weeks still isn't a lot of time in I guess but he seems (and says he is) Done with a capital D. We are separated already but I would really like to get that last chance.