Thanks for your reply.. Firt of all thank you for the great advice "It AINT over till it's over! Brings the hopes back.
I started GALing days before our separation and before reading the DR book. But when I read the book, it made feel good, but also made me realize it is a weapon to get W back with actions besided doing it for my self. I guess I am doing it for both reasons. What do you think?
Your second approach to intimacy is pretty tough to answer. I am not comfortable with her sleeping with someone else, but at the same time I feel like I am paying this guy with the same token. I also feel this is really stupid because I am not focusing on my self. As you mentioned it, I need to realize that I should not be tolerate it. Again, pretty tough to detach since it makes me believe she wants reconcile. Right now there is too many emotions going on, and I need to get a grasp of my self. Any advice how?
When she told me she needed to fix the situation, she meant that she needed to make a decision if she wanted to get back in the relationship and start working together. What do you make of this? I want to believe that she is struggling with her self too, and does not want to detach completely. Again, I feel really stupid, since I believe she is just playing her cards to keep me around.
It is a good advice. I will make the effort to stop putting any more blames on my self, that way I will stop remainding her about it. Thanks for that..
Yes, agreed.. I can not fix anybody but me. I am doing so, little by little, but it is a long road. I am learning to have patience, something that is really hard to do since I am the kind of person that wants results by the moment.
Now, she is the one who brings the conversation of fixing this situation, or that she is really scared of coming back. Everytime we see each other, she tells me she is afraid of coming back. What should I think of it? Is she really scared? or just making excuses?
I also agree on that. I was a good husband on many aspects. I took care of her in many ways. I am not that bad of Dad either, I have always been there for my kids even when their biological father is not. And yes, her excuse is that we were already torn apart and that she tried everything and that is why she moved on.
Regarding my kids, I hope they do see my positives and keep them as reference. I also hope they see my wrongs and learn from them.
