I'm back a bit soon. When I read what people are saying about their MLC spouse goading someone into a possible argument, I think of the MLC person sounding mean or angry. It's a generalization I have, but my recent experience has me questioning this.
I received a text from my W asking about a stain on the bed side table that was on my side of the bed....
W: " I just now saw my nite stand that was on your side of bed. what did you spill on it"
Giving her the benefit of doubt and believing she wasn't sending me an angry text, I replied exactly how I felt....
RT: "I honestly have no idea what you're referring too. I'm sorry if it's ruined. I assure you it was an accident."
True I took blame for something I don't know anything about, but is very possible. That's not what I'm here about.
My W called me asking if I saw her text, to which I told her I replied a few minutes prior. Her tone was not mean or angry, but neutral. I told her I was sorry, but I don't recall when a spill would have happened. I appologized again. Her tone never got angry as she went into how it was ruined and that she would have to have it stripped and revarnished, if that was at all possible ( it's a family hand-down so color might be tough to find ).
I let her finish, said sorry again for not remembering anything about it and that it ruined her nite stand.
Then she went on and repeated her quip about wishing I hadn't bought the kids shoes. Again - I'm sorry. She brought up the coupon again and I reminded her that she didn't use it last year because neither of the kids like that brand shoe - I redirected blame away from me.
Then she went on about going school supply shopping. I told her I would get what money I could and set it aside this coming payday. She went on about what she's had to spend money on that she doesn't have on whatever, yada yada yada.....
I wonder if she notices I stop talking when she starts to talk about money or complain. I let her ramble on and I suppose she detects I have nothing to say and ends the call.
She didn't sound angry or intentionally mean at all. Is this what most others experience when their MLC spouse tries to draw them in?
