I had chat with an older wiser friend who is an IC not my IC just an IC. She was saying how much this next two weeks will be needed for me. Living away from home, working with new people, new experiences etc. She (and another older lady I work with) both said they have a feeling I'll meet someone while I'm there. Say WHAAAAAAAAAA? I'm not shutting the windows...just being open to what comes my way.
I have had very little contact with H since last week. I don't know....I'm not TRYING to have contact, but I'm not trying to NOT have contact if you know what I mean. If that's confused you I don't blame you! I sent him a text tonight just about S and told him of my travel arrangements. He replied "You should be very proud, have fun" I thought that was nice. Of course Brit's such a tough b*tch she replied "of him? of me? haha I am thank you" I think it's funny that in June when he got all personal saying he was proud of my accomplishments it made me shakey and uncomfortable and this time it just felt like over kill and out of place.
I've been feeling a bit restless and almost slightly anxious. What's funny is before these feelings would have worried me...I would have analysed H and I's non contact for ages, I would have worried if I was coping as good as I (or everyone here seems to) think I am, I would have wondered if the anxiety was going to spiral like it was previously...and now I'm floating like Grace, swimming like Zig....I'm not concerned and even more am I not concerned but I've learned through reading and followers other's sitches that when you drop the rope even more, when you allow yourself to stop clinging to that branch in the rough water (whoever wrote that on someone's thread months ago...it has stuck with me...such a great analogy) anyway I know that it's a better plateau, a stronger place it's just a little tough to get there.
