I see a lot of myself in your posts. I wasn't there for my X for a long time so I felt obligated to be there for her in her mlc. I had a lot of dreams in the beginning and respect dreams more now. I saw and feared the impact of D upon my kids and did everything I could to mitigate it's negative results.
You can't change the past. Being there for her now that she has OM does the opposite of what you probably hope, it enables their dysfunctional relationship. Think about it. She's going through a second adolesence. He's the fun filled boyfriend, you're the responsible daddy, paying her bills and there to catch her when she falls. Reminds me of a saying I once heard:
"Its the savior that gets crucified."
When the time comes she will crucify you for everything she can get. Talk to a L if you haven't already. Ask L about that $600 car payment. Judges often like to keep much as it already is and she will need that car "to transport the kids", right?
I believe dreams are our subconsciouses speaking aloud. I too dreamed much about X in the beginning. It's good you've chosen not to dream of her. Your mind probably needs a break from her even if only at night.
We do what we can for our kids. You sound like a great father. Unfortunately the children are taken along for the ride on the mlcer's too. I feared up recently when my kids voiced the time in "our apt" as one if the best of their lives. I knew at that moment I had accomplished my goal (5yrs post-bomb).
Take care of yourself, take care of your kids. Don't worry about her.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
