I also told him that if everything I've gone through means that he's finally getting the help he needs then I'd do it all again tomorrow. That, to me, is love.
I like this.
I also like the discussion of SSM. I get that it's emasculating for a man to be pushed away, and that the W having a good reason doesn't change how the man felt and doesn't help now. Over the past year I've learned a lot about myself and understand a bit more now about why I lost interest in ML with my H and sometimes wish I could explain it and then he'd get it and be sorry he made me feel that way. But that's not how it works. He didn't make me feel that way. I interpreted him incorrectly, felt bad based on my interpretation, allowed my bad feeling to affect our intimacy, chose to find excuses not to seek help, and so on. If we can wipe the slate clean and rebuild I think we can do better, but I've given up on expecting that if I could just explain to him how bad he was he'll be sorry and be better... that's just not going to happen in this lifetime.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
