Should I initiate R talk?

[Denver_2010]

"i insisted that W got a boarding room in the nieghborhood so she can come around anytime she can. I suggested she come around and have breakfast with D8 once in a while or even come by in the evening for story time before bed."

Wrong call. You don't make those arrangements for her. You tell her when and where she can meet your daughter and it's up to your W to take the initiative to meet those times. Don't 'insist' that she have any sort of living conditions close to you. That's her issue to deal with. If you continue doing that, your W is going to accuse you of 'controlling' her life. It happens all the time.

I agree with Bond 100% here. I see some controlling behaviors here Arsene. Keep 'insisting' that your W do this your way and you will see her move farther and farther away from you and your M. Asking to set 'boundaries' for the S is the same thing. You can talk to her about how she envisions the S, but you are in no position to demand or insist on anything. She obviously wants some space and maybe some freedom for herself. You are going to have to let her have it.

Denver