pw, sounds like you handled it really well. And you don't try to control his bedtime at HP. You sound easy to work with. She probably just didn't like being called on her inconsistency is all.
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Maybe I should just forget about it. This is my life and how I would like things to run at my house and it is her problem to deal with.
Option #4 is what I would go with PW...she is the one who left, you don't question bedtime at her place...and you do not make her mad, she chooses to be so. It is going to happen as you two navigate this course. How did she deal with conflict before things went downhill? How did you? You two are relearning some things in that area, as are W and I.
That being said, maybe kick around the idea of waiting until 9:10 or so, if W hasn't called S, then have him call her (matching her clue "And that she has him call me at bedtime on her days.").
It's a dance...*sigh*
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
So the goodnite phone calls are going well. Issue resolved.
When W dropped off S at my house this morning she brought a movie with her. She said it was the best movie she has seen in a while. She thought I would like it.
She also had more eye contact and was much more cheerful. It was nice to see her in a good mood.
I'm thinking about calling her just for light conversation every once in a while. Or asking if she would like to join us on an outing.
I just feel like doing something different.
You know I've been dim for a good while. I am feeling more detached.
Maybe it's too soon. We have only been separated a little over a month.
The truth is I want to persue her. Tell how much I love her and miss her. That I realize my shortcomings of the past. That I would never take a moment with her for granted again. What I wouldn't give for one more kiss. That I want her smiling face to be the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see in the morning for the rest of my days.
So I have answered my own question. Stay dim. I'm not there yet. I have to protect myself.
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
The truth is I want to persue her. Tell how much I love her and miss her. That I realize my shortcomings of the past. That I would never take a moment with her for granted again. What I wouldn't give for one more kiss. That I want her smiling face to be the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see in the morning for the rest of my days.
So I have answered my own question. Stay dim. I'm not there yet. I have to protect myself.
Yes, you very much answered your own question. Even though a month seems like forever... it really isn't as long as you think. Definitely continue with more space and give it more time.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
The truth is I want to persue her. Tell how much I love her and miss her. That I realize my shortcomings of the past. That I would never take a moment with her for granted again. What I wouldn't give for one more kiss. That I want her smiling face to be the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see in the morning for the rest of my days.
Been there...still go there from time to time for a few minutes...it's normal, you wouldn't have loved your W if you DIDN'T feel this. It does get easier over time, I couldn't have imagined being where I am now back at month 1...trust that you will get through this, regardless of the end result.
Trust YOURSELF, YOUR strength, YOUR love for S...
You WILL do this!
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
