Hi Bill,

Yes, it's a trial at the moment, I agree.

I am curious about this whole, 'accounting for time' thing. It's one of those bug bears we have had.

In the past he'd have his whole schedule organised - much like he does now - except back then I wouldn't have a clue about his schedule. He kept it so under wraps - I suppose it was his fear of being 'taken over by me'. From time to time, his schedule clashed with my desire for spontaneous action.

So, for example, I would call him on a Friday and say, "Would you like to meet for drinks later on?" And then, he'd be like, "I've already planned x,y or z. But we can do it another time...let me check my diary. Tuesday is good."

By then, I'm well onto something different.

So, what would happen is that after a few of those types of scenarios, I'd be like, "Arrghhhh!!! OK! What are you doing now?! Please let me know what your schedule is so that I can make sure I don't call you on those days." Huffing and puffing.

After a bit of that, next thing you know, you're being accused of trying to control his schedule. This is probably such a typical scenario in so many relationships to be honest.

But really, it's because you want to be able to do something together spontaneously - and the only reason one wants to know the schedule is to understand why the hell their schedule isn't more flexible, and begin to argue against the schedule so that you can get an hour or two slotted in. It really is like one is fighting sometimes for some spontaneous excitement.

Then it goes downhill.

Now fortunately, we are starting off on a different foot this time smile. I didn't ask to see his schedule, and it's fantastic that he gave it to me since many times I feel like I am shooting in the dark with my plans with him. My schedule is very different. I tend to plan a week in advance....unless it's work but even then, work too is rather spontaneous - in some cases I know a day in advance.

If anyone has any solutions to what is probably a very typical cycle, I'm all ears - thanks!!