Need help with detaching and hoping to reconcile.

[MrBond]

"I know that this casts me in a poor light, please understand he's not a very happy person right now."

After reading the note and going through your posts, I noticed that you make alot of excuses. Yes I understand your depression, etc. But the bottom line is that alot of the problems stemmed from that.

For years my W would push me away when I wanted to initiate sex and it does feel very emasculating. I have a feeling that this is the reason why your H feels that whatever change you say you are making, that it's not going to stick. In fact, I have a feeling that in your C sessions, you validate how he's feeling but then come up with the valid excuses why you acted the way you did.

This is what you need to do. You need to apologize and that's that. And then live the changes that you've said you made. Don't say 'I'm sorry, I know how you feel, BUT you know I was depressed, etc." He knows you were depressed but in the end his FEELINGS are what matters.

It's no wonder why he went out to get validation as a man from another woman. Validate him some more with no excuses. Then just give him random hugs and tell him how much he means to you.