more turtles by my side...

[zig]

journaling:

i've been waiting for a chance today to sit down and right a bit more.

yesterday s and i went over to mil's and spent the afternoon there. this is h's 5th trip down to ow's and it's an odd coincidence but each time, fil has been out of town and we have spent the day with mil and her mother and father (they live in the same house)

i was nervous about going there in the morning - it's been awhile, and i was a bit wary that i may get all emotional, like i used to. i will admit, in hindsight, that i think i started db'ing with them since march and letting go of them also.

it was the complete opposite of before, the 3 of us were in the pool all afternoon, really relaxed and then just before dinner h's grandma came out to tell us she had hurt her shoulder. she's 93 and has been getting injured a lot recently.

so suddenly there i was, popped into my "traditional" role in the family - being florence nightingale - nurse florrie for short - which i am really really good at! after all this time - i took care of her, massaged her shoulder, announced that we didn't need to rush to the er and went and got a better ice pack from the pharmacy.

mil was really stressed out as everyone except me is out of town and she couldn't miss work today. it was so nice to go over during the day today and take care of them for a bit - i used to do that almost on a daily basis before BD and almost until march .i just adore those 2 old people and have missed them so much.

she always introduces me as her daughter and i always laugh and say no i'm her grand daughter in law, but she insists otherwise!!

i knew she was really pleased to have me around - and i decided that i was going to continue to drop in and check on them, when i'm sure h isn't around.

i told mil that i got so much pleasure from being with them again - and for myself i was so happy that now it isn't edged with the constant bittersweet reminder of what has happened. i'm free to just enjoy them on my own...and that please me a lot.



when we got home tonight, i made sure s called fil - he's racing at that bike race in iowa and i knew he would be delighted if s asked how the race was going. they talked for an hour

h called while s was on the phone - and so i got to talk to him. as soon as he heard that s was talking to his dad he went into a mild tirade about what an idiot his dad was - he told him not to go do that, it's ridiculous to be biking in this heat and why don't they stop right now instead of going on.i laughed very mildly and said well you can't stop someone once they've decided to do something - they're not going to listen to anyone saying don't do that. his reply - it's not a lugging matter - they are going to get hurt. soon after i said well i'll get s to call when he gets off with your dad and let him go.

damn right it's not a laughing matter...

it's odd how so many of our conversations in the last couple of months have gone like that -direct analogies of our sitch. and him criticizing something like this in the same way. very strange...