Needing some guidance... 5

[25yearsmlc]

RH,

OMG -yes "Dance of Anger" IS a helpful book and JKS, you may like it.

Most of what needs to be said about moving away, from a legal standpoint, has been said.

You have to see a L to know what that means, if you mean out of state OR even just out of county in some places...what are your rights and your h's?

Another good point is about the influence you'll have or lose, by being farther way when he does have the kids, is a valid one.

But I don't want to overwhelm you with too many choices...and YET...

I want you to see that you DO have choices. You are not in a corner -so don't let yourself feel that way. You do have choice and you do have control...over YOU and how these next chapters in your life, go.

Make sense?

As for the religious issues, JKS, ooohhh, honey, I so hear you. I get it.

IT's a toughie.

On one hand, I've met several women of faith who say they "pray for" their h's to see the light, and they seem like loving women. THey also seem happy and I think are modelling unconditional or Christ like love for their h's.

Don't mean to mind read but that's my take on it for some. They sometimes were the ones who changed as the wives got MORE religious and the men are stunned at their changes

(remember Jane Fonda getting into Church and then Ted Turner freaked on her as if she had "betrayed HIM"??l)

Other times it's more like your sitch and the h changes. But those changes are sometimes, temporary explorations. My son is going through one now. I had a crisis of faith right after my dad died and honestly, without going into too much wacky details, it's BECAUSE of experiences I had and dreams of my dad and "conversations" in the dreams, that my faith is stronger now.

It's as if my dad gave me more theological beliefs and faith AFTER his life was over, than during it...I once told a shrink I thought I was going nuts b/c My dad was telling me these wonderful things in my dreams, a few months after he died....

Finally the shrink said, "why can't you just look at these dreams as gifts?"

I'm still so grateful for that simple, profound question...


Sometimes they also seem like long suffering women. But I might be wrong.

I also know a born again Christian friend of mine, wh knowingly married an agnostic and they really respect each other and she admires how honorable he is and he loves her and her faith and even though I'm not sure how they do it, they DO love each other and their marriage seems to work.

But it's not for everyone.

Bottom line is, you don't have to decide anything by close of business AND you can still work on YOU & Your stuff,

AND

you need to see a L --knowledge IS power ---and don't forget, the moving, the filing for div, or the not filing, and or saying "X" but not saying "Y",

all don't add up to much.

You'll still not be with the man you love and filing/not filing, won't fix that. TIME will heal you and where the head goes, the heart will follow, in time.

So keep your head on straight and meet those new Peeps...hey, JKS

what's up with the "Joining sumthin' sumthin'" plan?

Just one week left and if you don't sign up for something hmmm....

I may take matters into my own hands, go out there and get you into some....some Olympic sport...like badminton or, no wait... "Winter Curling!"...now....(yes folks, it's a "sport" and I played it when I lived in Alaska b/c I was desparate--HAD to GAL)

JKS, you do what you gotta do... do you see how much easier GAL is (wherever YOU live!!!) than in Alaska.


Oh here's another GAL sport for you, how about Women's Wrestling OR Women's Boxing" (channel that anger AND get in shape!!!)

...your "Made in the USA" uniforms could all say "LBS" and the opponent's could say "OW Loser..."