She wants me to be "proactive," as she calls it. So I asked her to fill out the love language survey (from the 5 love languages) and the emotional needs questionaire. I have been reading here too. She complained before that she had to tell me everything to do instead of me taking the initiative, so I want to KNOW how she needs her needs met. For a few years she has wanted me to get my testosterone tested. I have type I diabetes and just figured that my libido and things were going down from the disease. It makes me self-conscious, so I know I have held back in that area. I finally did get it tested, and it turns out she was right. It is pretty low. I am getting medicine for that. Since she was the one with the high drive and I just don't think about it, I expected her to be the one to ask or initiate. I realize now how unattractive that probably made her feel. She grew up with parents who almost seemed to have a fairy tale marriage. My parents love each other too, but they were just more practical and didn't really do the romance thing.
We have had our problems, but I see now how hard she tried, and I just let stress and work and school get in the way. She checked with her attorney today and said she was willing to wait 90 days and then revisit. She also told me that postponing isn't a promise or anything. She wasn't rude or anything, but I can tell she doesn't really feel anything and that she doesn't trust me. I know she worries that I will work hard for a little while and then go back to being passive.
So I know that at least I will be married for 3 more months. I want to make the most of it.
