If I did a contested divorce where it would go to trial, the retainer is $4500 to start, and then $200 an hour from there, neither of us have that kind of money.
I could request that the house be sold, as a part of the divorce, and then no one gets it.
Still trying to figure where to go or what to do. Right now just taking it one day at a time and focusing on myself. Just happy to have a roof over my head right now and a good job. Maybe in a few more months I will have a better perspective.
M-28 H-28 M-9 1/2 years T- 12 years PA- 01/02/12 (still going on)
I don't know the breakdown in Texas. But I do know that after 10 years in a military marriage, I am entitled to half of his military pay. So for instance, he is signing a deal where he gets $2400 a month from the Army for the rest of his life, after 10 years marriage (which is January for me) I would be entitled to half. As far as spousal support, we don't have any children, and I actually make more than him on paper (but he brings in more benefits with the military), so I don't think spousal support would apply to us, since we have no children either.
I would be entitled to a healthcare package from the military and id card benefits after 10 years of marriage, which again is in January.
So for now, it seems in my best interest to lay low until Jan 2nd, or at least drag out the divorce until then, if we go that route. Everyday is different really, I do still love him despite what he is doing, and want to work on things, but as far as I am concerned, we are headed towards divorce as long as he has another person in our marriage.
M-28 H-28 M-9 1/2 years T- 12 years PA- 01/02/12 (still going on)
Texas doesn't have alimony, but beginning with a law passed last year, if you are married for 10 or more years, you can possibly qualify for "maintenance", but it usually won't be for more than 3 years and I don't think it can be for more than 20% of the paying spouse's income.
So I don't think that will affect you much, and I'd be much more concerned about the military benefits.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
Not butting in at all sweetbabyred, I appreciate the input, and it lines up with what I heard as well.
I recieve the military benefits, regardless of it we contest or don't contest, as long as I wait it out a few more months. Basically with over 9 1/2 years invested, even if it doesn't reach the full 10, the attorney said I would be entitled to a portion of the military pay, but definitely after 10 years it would be automatically deposited into my bank account if we divorce.
I think that is my best option. I don't want to drag it out in court and all that crap, I just want to go quietly and heal and not be bitter or any of that, if that makes sense. My husband is still a good man, who happened to make a bad decision, and continues to make bad decisions that effect us to the point where I have to move on with my life.
M-28 H-28 M-9 1/2 years T- 12 years PA- 01/02/12 (still going on)
In the meantime, I started a 90 day work out program today. It's Jillian Michaels, but I took before pictures to motivate myself and followed the meal plan and everything, something to obsessively focus on to get my mind off things.
I also am saving up money to get my dental stuff taken care of before we possibly lose our dental insurance. Its nothing major, just replacing some filings, less than $300 needed, but again, a goal to focus on.
I also signed up for Chemistry online and Developmental Psychology as a part of my Nursing pre-reqs. I did just finish my bachelors, but felt it wouldn't hurt to go ahead and knock out my pre-reqs for my Nursing degree these next two semesters, so I have them in the bag if I want to return to school and work towards being a Nurse Practitioner (can you tell I dream big?) Lets see if I talk myself out of it, but for now its something to focus on to help these next months pass by until January hits.
Thanks again for all the input guys, I hate being in this boat, but its good to know I am not alone out there.
M-28 H-28 M-9 1/2 years T- 12 years PA- 01/02/12 (still going on)
Excellent idea, giving yourself something else to focus on.
And yes, at 9 1/2 years, it would be very wise to hang in there for the ten year mark. Plus, again, we know your H is brain injured and even if you were done with the marriage, it might be a kind act to ease his transition anyway. Just take good care of yourself in the meantime. And definitely get your dental work done!
