Update: So after W spent the night last Thursday (7/12), we have been spending a lot of time together as a family. There have been zero "dates". I am not pursuing on that end and have cut out any attempts on contact (holding, quick kisses, etc).
After that Thursday, the W spent the night at my place a few more times. Each night has been D3/D4 sleeping with us in the bed, falling asleep to a movie. I give her space in the bed.
It feels like it was pre-bomb. We spend our days together and then at night we separate. She has invited me to stay at her place when I visit on her days with the Ds, but I always decline. I am not inviting her to come over when she stays the night at my place. We have always said we wouldn't stand in the way of the other spending time with our Ds, so I won't tell her she can't come over.
We are spending more time together and it isn't because of "dates" or "events".
One note of interest: This weekend, I showed my W and Ds my new work location/office. W was on my computer at work and saw the folder I had with all the D paperwork filled out. I quickly dismissed it when she brought it up. I guess she didn't know how close I was to actually filing until she saw it all filled out.
She also went through my desk out of curiosity and saw another card I had address to send her but never sent. She wanted to open it and read it, I asked her not to as it wasn't a good card. It was from when I wasn't doing well. It made me look weak. When I got into work this morning, I couldn't find the card and called her about it. She took it. I asked her not to read it. She again asked why. I can't really remember what was said in the card, but know it made me look like a wuss. She said she would not open it. She really liked the first card I sent her and is sentimental like that when it comes to cards.
Not sure what my mood/attitude is right now. Acceptance? I am not overly excited when she stays over. Maybe I am defeated at the lack of affection. But then I am happy with the increase in visits.
My new job started as I am now a full-time employee with the increased pay. Can't wait until those checks start coming in because I will be doing a lot of shopping.
M-40 W-33 D3, D4, SD13 T 9 YEARS M 5 YEARS ILYBINILWY APRIL 2012
